A short story:

a work of fictional non-fiction

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental or a reflection of a person’s inner soul.

2021.Q3.Royalty Reporting.xlsx

Privileged and Confidential
DRAFT - Subject to Change
For internal discussions purposes only
Summary Schedule

Total Royalties Owed (incl. simple interest): $56,256,256.25

Chat (Expires 2 Weeks):
(4:45PM) A.Ok: Hey... I’m sending it. It’s ready?
(4:48PM) O.Xu: yeah, good to send

4:48PM

2021.Q2.Royalty Reporting.xlsx
Hi CLiENT,

PLEASE FiND REPORT ATTACHED.

Please note the following assumptions:

It would be too technical to figure out the long way so we used a shortcut to get a reasonable estimate before the court-mandated deadline.
Counsel wanted to be conservative.
Counsel was too embarrassed to clarify.
Plaintiff was too embarrassed to clarify.
Defendant was too embarrassed to clarify.
CFO was too embarrassed to clarify.
A.Ok was too embarrassed to clarify.
A.Ok was too lazy to ask.
A.Ok was too forgetful to ask.

Let me know if you have any questions before the deadline.

Best Regards,
A.Ok

Chat (Expires 2 Weeks):
(4:49PM) O.Xu: that was last quarter’s file and there’s a new assumption
(4:49PM) A.Ok: Fuck
(5:08PM) A.Ok: We have to be better with this going forward.

5:12PM

2021.Q3.Royalty Reporting.xlsx

Hi CLiENT,

Srry pls see attached file and disregard prior.

Also, one more assumption:A.Ok was too proud to ask despite O.Xu asking him to.

Best Regards,
A.Ok

Chat (Expires 2 Weeks):

(5:18PM) A.Ok: Hey...

(5:22PM) O.Xu: hey

(5:22PM) A.Ok: I’m mad at you because I attached the wrong file on that email to the client.

(5:22PM) O.Xu: okay

(5:23PM) A.Ok: We need to talk. Come by my office.

(5:24PM) O.Xu: okay

A.Ok’s office (5:26PM):

O.Xu: Hey.

*A.Ok looks up from his computer*

A.Ok: Tf is up with that green sweater

*A.Ok looks back down at his computer*

O.Xu: It’s my favorite co-

A.Ok: So, I’m required by the company to give you a counselor chat. I figured we get it out of the way now since you are actually in the office for once.

O.Xu: Yeah, don’t get used to me showing up in person. Also, just letting you know I have dinner plans so I gotta head out soon.

A.Ok: I realize how difficult it is for a low-level employee such as yourself to build entire analyses for high-stakes litigation by yourself with absolutely no guidance, putting the responsibility of determining the allocation of tens of millions of dollars on your shoulders entirely.

O.Xu: Yeah.

A.Ok: I ask you to do it because you are the super worker hired to be silent and do all the work that the other people can’t or won’t do.

O.Xu: I’m aware.

A.Ok: Please remember that I will barely glance at your work before sending it to the client and will blame any mistakes on you. It’s just how corporate works. Got it?

O.Xu: I know.

A.Ok: And I know I promised to promote you this year and didn’t, but don’t act like a victim and quit... It’s just the way the cookie crumbles... Everywhere is like this. You will never escape. Talk to me before you think about leaving. Don’t be so fucking dramatic.

*O.Xu’s eyes glaze over*

A.Ok: So here’s some real advice. As a friend.

O.Xu: Friend?

A.Ok: Yes. As a friend looking out for you, I’m going to tell you what no one else will say... So, let me be straight with you. You will never leave this maze. You’re an NPC, an individual contributor, a number cruncher.

O.Xu: I can see why no one else would say that.

A.Ok: And I’m just a brown boy from Orange County... *raises fist in solidarity to show his cultural red string bead bracelet*

*O.Xu glances down at her Chinese red string bracelet*

A.Ok: And I had to change my entire personality to be that of an insufferable white man.

O.Xu: We all noticed.

A.Ok: I am a darker Asian than you. Trust me, I know oppression.

O.Xu: No doubt. Colorism is pervasive in every facet of-

A.Ok: Let’s not get distracted. To reiterate, you are a non-playable character. An NPC. In video games, this means a computer-controlled character that has a predetermined set of behavior that potentially impacts gameplay, but will not necessarily be a product of true artificial intelligence.

O.Xu: I know what an NPC is, boomer.

A.Ok: Gen X Millenial cusp... And great! You understand that you are not real. You are code. The only real people are me, white men, blondes, and your nymphet Thai-American colleague that uses a baby sing-song voice and holds my arm when we walk around the office. Too bad I have to share her with her prior manager from back in her audit days...

O.Xu: Oh yeah I’ve seen that guy around, he sits on the same floor as us. Isn’t there a power imbalance on like multiple levels between y’all and her?

A.Ok: I love the way she whines and cries to me in a private room when she wants something. It had been so long since I felt a woman’s touch....

O.Xu: hey, can you get to the point? I have dinner -

A.Ok: My fiancee just left me. You know, the doctor I paraded around last year?

O.Xu: dang, that’s too bad. I liked her.

A.Ok: It’s okay. It’s not like she’s white. I can find a dozen other Asian ones like her if I keep swiping for during a couple more work days instead of reviewing your work.

O.Xu: man what happened? I hoped this relationship would stick so she could make you less annoying and pathetic.

A.Ok: She’s mentally ill so left to focus on herself.

O.Xu: there HAS to be more to the story

A.Ok: I’m not sure if I’d be satisfied with an Asian long-term. What a shame because this company is like a candy store if the candy were young Asian women.

O.Xu: You are aware that our company provides 20 free talk therapy session each year, right?

A.Ok: But most of all, I love white men.

O.Xu: It’s actually surprisingly easy to sign up. All I had to do was -

A.Ok: Maybe I’m just jealous of Asian girls. And blonde girls. And girls in general. How desireable they are to men, especially white men.

O.Xu: Sounds like you want to be a woman.

A.Ok: I want to be desired by a hot, buff white man.

O.Xu: You can come out as gay, there’s two senior managers that are also out.

A.Ok: And I just want to be a hot, buff white man railed by a hot, buff white man.

*I didn’t know how to reply*

A.Ok: You’re staying next year so I can promote someone that flirts with me instead of you again, right?
O.Xu: idk man, I gotta get to dinner

A

A.Ok: Okay. Good counselor-counselee chat. Anything else I can do for you?

O.Xu: I’ve been meaning to tell you about the other day... if you put your hand on the small of my back again, I will slash your tires.

A.Ok: Okay.

O.Xu: Other than that, all set on my end.

*O.Xu gathers her things and stands up*

A.Ok: Send me the latest copy of the report before you leave!

*O.Xu opens the door*

O.Xu: Will do. Have a good night.

*O.Xu walks out*

A.Ok: Have a goo -

*The door shuts*

T

Chat (Expires 2 Weeks):

(5:48PM) A.Ok: Looking forward to the depo tomorrow... =-)

(5:48PM) *O.Xu react thumbs up to A.Ok*

(5:51PM) A.Ok: Run a spell check before you email the final version to me. And manually use a calculator to check every number ... And check the footnote references. Thanks! I appreciate the work you do! Remember I said that when HR asks you anything.

(5:58PM) O.Xu: done

(6:01PM) A.Ok: Got your email. Feedback for next time... Make your email messages to me shorter... My eyes start to glaze over after 6 words. Cog...

Group Chat (Expires 2 Weeks): The Three Muskateers

(5:57PM) M.Oo: he’s such a creep, i’m surprised he hasn’t gotten fired yet.
(5:57PM) I.Dc: I totally agree, and I don’t want to do anything about it.

(5:58PM) *O.Xu react💯 to M.Oo*
(5:58PM) O.Xu: yup

One Year Later...
Chat (Expires 2 Weeks):
(2:23PM) O.Xu: wb from vacation!!! <3
(2:23PM) O.Xu: soo everyone either left or got fired
(2:23PM) J.Wd: no way wtfff
(2:24PM) J.Wd: fk this job
(2:24PM) O.Xu: yeah fkthisjob

no use in appealing to the morality of someone that has the power over you.

cool story bro

Website inspired by one of the worst websites I had ever seen.

drink some warm water. eat some warm food.

get up

© Olivia (Demo) — ’95

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