I keep changing my mind. I keep changing user names, domain names, artist names. what is in a name? flip flop, flip flop. experimentation. I keep shifting. I get paranoid about privacy. I fear stalkers. I let fear affect how I live my life. I fear my life ending at the hands of someone or something else even though it’s something that no one can really control and it’s not like I particularly fear death. I fear the lack of control of when the end of my life happens. I want to live an authentic life, but I often live in fear. I keep trying to influence people’s behaviors towards me although that is out of my control and is a form of manipulation. I keep shifting between deciding to work for myself or working for someone else. I shift between being directionless and directionful. I am experimenting. Is that really a problem? Trying something new, making a different path requires courage. I think my courage to try new things and be a beginner is a strength.
I keep changing, it feels disorienting and exciting.
no more living in fear!
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